I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize