Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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