I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize