I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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