I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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