She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize