so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
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Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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