The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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