Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize