I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize