Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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