She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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