just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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