what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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