home. puking in laundry basket.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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