just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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