You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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