did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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