After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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