Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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