I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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