i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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