Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize