I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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