So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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