Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize