5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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