eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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