She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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