Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize