i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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