When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize