I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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