Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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