Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize