my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize