Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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