Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize