these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
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Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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