Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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