just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
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Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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