are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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