You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize