Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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