Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize