My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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