So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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