i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize