I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
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I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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