Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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